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What is commitment?
It flourishes for some and withers for others, why?
I have almost completed Deepak Chopra’s ‘21 Day Abundance Meditation’. It was suggested by my son. We got a group together and went for it. Marooned in our various locations around the world, it seemed like a rewarding pursuit and time was on our side.
I have gracefully and blissfully drifted upon my last day.
Being the eager beaver that I am, I tend to race and ravage at my tasks or opportunities — the concept of waiting for a souffle to rise is absurd to me, I want it now. Everyday, throughout the process, I dutifully completed the meditations, the exercises and answered all questions, first in the group. I discussed with my partner the intentions behind each day and we grew from there. Until today…
I choked.
Why, on the final day, would I suddenly choke?
(I write this knowing I theoretically still have six hours before my supposed daily limit is used.) Why hesitate now, so close to the finish?
Is it the concept of committing to the discoveries I have made and questions I have raised and answered?
Is it fear of success, of failure?
Is it imposter syndrome?
Am I lazy and weak?